Change what’s in the heart, and the rest will follow

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“When the heart is set right, then the personal life is cultivated.  When the personal life is cultivated, then the home life is regulated.  When the home life is regulated, then the national life is orderly:  And when the national life is orderly, then the world is at peace.”

Confucius

 

It’s Not About the Other Person

“You can tell in your relationships right now what you’ve been giving.  If a current relationship is great, it means you are giving more love and gratitude than negativity.  If a current relationship is difficult or challenging, it means you are inadvertently giving more negativity than love.
 
Some people think a relationship is either good or bad because of the other person, but life doesn’t happen that way.  You can’t say to the force of love, “I will give love only when the other person gives it to me!”  You can’t receive anything in life unless you give it first!  Whatever you give, you receive, so it’s not about the other person at all:  it’s all about you!  It’s all about what you are giving and what you are feeling.
 
You can change any relationship right now by looking for the things you love, appreciate, and are grateful for in that person.  When you make a deliberate effort to look for the things you love more than you notice negative things, a miracle will take place.  It will appear to you as though something incredible has happened to the other person…….”
 
                                                                                        The Power by Rhonda Byrnelove
 
 

Raw Emotions

 

Raw Emotions

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I’m feeling . . . sad no, not sad, depressed no not depressed, anxious, no, then what?  I don’t know.  All I know is something is not right something is missing.  In the past when I felt this way I would deal with it by eating, shopping or some other external measure.  I would feel better at least temporarily.

The problem with these solutions: they were pacifications; they offered no real fix or solution.  For after the newness of the recent purchase or purchases wore off or the sugar high had subsided, I was back where I had started, down and feeling empty.  Again, the solution was more shopping and more comfort food.  It was a vicious cycle, never ending.  One day after realizing that I had maxed out my credit cards with nothing really to show for the insane debt and had eaten myself into a 20 pound weight gain, I finally did what I should have done along time ago:  I actually confronted that negative voice in my head that for so long had told me that I was not worthy, that I was not good enough and that I did not deserve the best.

I will admit, it’s a lot easier helping other people deal with and confront their issues, than it is dealing with your own.  Dealing with self is hard work.  It takes courage, honesty and a willingness to change.  The road to change starts with an acknowledgment that we are loving and lovable.  Despite what we’ve been told, and how we’ve been raised, we are good enough, we are loving and lovable and we have a divine spirit within us that is waiting to be awaken.   We must constantly remind ourselves of this.  We have to be vigilant and not believe this, but know this.

Take time out of your day to sit with yourself, meditate and nourish you soul.  Literally talk to yourself and express gratitude and love for the person you are.  If there are things you want to change about yourself, do it.  And know that change will only make you more loving and lovable.  Reconcile with yourself that there may be occasions when you will make mistakes or even mess up; but in no way is that an indictment of incompetence and unworthiness.

From the moment of your conception, your DNA and genes contained all of the cells that made your body what it is today.  Likewise at that same moment, the spirit of greatness from THE DIVINE was placed into your DNA and genes.  It’s no coincidence that your eyes are where they should be, your ears are where they should be, your arms are where they should be and on and on.  All of this happened without you doing a single thing.  It was just there, that’s he same with your inner self or spirit.  Its there too!  Awaken it and let it come through!

 

 

 

 

Welcome!

fmlogo1 We specialize in the “how” of staying married

We all know how to fall in love— that’s the easy part—but can we stay there?

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Welcome!

 

 We specialize in the “how” of staying married

2011-10-29 21.43.26

We all know how to fall in love— that’s the easy part—but can we stay there? After the ease fades and reality appears, can we stay there? After the frustration mounts and the tension grows, can we stay there? It may not seem like it, but the answer is, yes, we most certainly can… if we know how.

That’s where Family Matters of KC comes in. We specialize in the “how” of staying married. We teach couples how to ease the tension, strengthen the love and live in peace.

What makes love hard?

In the beginning, love feels magical.

It’s as if it wipes away the bad and intensifies the good. It truly is a magical feeling, but sooner or later, the magic fades and we discover that the only thing we have left to protect and shelter our love is what we’ve been taught. Therein lies the problem.

Few of us have been taught how to properly navigate our relationships. We just assume that ours will be different, unlike everyone else’s, unlike our parents’, unlike the 50 percent of marriages that end in divorce. We think we innately have the skill to step up and out of dis-ease that traps so many.

Wrong.

Necessary skills for happy marriages

Relationship skills must be learned and practiced. In the same way that a child must learn to crawl, walk and run, couples must learn to listen and speak in a way that nourishes their marriages. When we don’t learn these vital skills, we get stuck in our problems—so stuck that we often feel our only solution is to break free and find someone else, someone better.

But even after we find someone better, again, the problems arise. Again, we feel stuck. The cycle continues until we learn how to behave differently.

Family Matters of KC teaches the skills of active listening and conscious communication using the following curriculums:

-How to Avoid Marry a Jerk

-Getting the Love You Want

-8 Habits of Successful Marriages

 

 

 

 

Permanent link to this article: http://www.familymatterskc.org/

tranquil image

Change what’s in the heart, and the rest will follow

  “When the heart is set right, then the personal life is cultivated.  When the personal life is cultivated, then the home life is regulated.  When the home life is regulated, then the national life is orderly:  And when the national life is orderly, then the world is at peace.” Confucius  

Read more

love

It’s Not About the Other Person

“You can tell in your relationships right now what you’ve been giving.  If a current relationship is great, it means you are giving more love and gratitude than negativity.  If a current relationship is difficult or challenging, it means you are inadvertently giving more negativity than love.   Some people think a relationship is either good or bad because …

Read more

images

Raw Emotions

  Raw Emotions I’m feeling . . . sad no, not sad, depressed no not depressed, anxious, no, then what?  I don’t know.  All I know is something is not right something is missing.  In the past when I felt this way I would deal with it by eating, shopping or some other external measure.  …

Read more